Letter from Jay's Father

April 10, 2008

Dear Excel Gymnasts, Parents, and Friends of My Son, Jay:

As you celebrate the life of Jay Rivera, your coach and my son, I want to tell you how much your kind and thoughtful words and actions these past few weeks have meant to me and my family. For us as for you, this has been a most difficult time as we seek to understand and accept the tragic end to his life. We all ask ourselves “why”? The simple but hard-to-accept answer is that the problems that plagued the final years of Jay’s life became too much for him to deal with any longer.

But rather than dwell on this personal tragedy, I would have you focus on celebrating the joy in his life. My son loved gymnastics; from the moment the barely-four-year-old boy asked his older sister’s dance and gymnastic coach if he could try tricks the class had just demonstrated for admiring parents, to the day he led his University of Illinois, Chicago Men’s Gymnastics team to victory and achieved a life-time best all-around score, to that time on Saturday, March 22, 2008 when his Excel Boys Team won the Alaska State Championship, my son loved gymnastics. As an adult, this was transformed into a love for teaching gymnastics to beginner classes and competitive teams. He found his joy and fulfillment in teaching gymnastics. My family and I would like to thank you for being an important part of this dimension of his life.

As a teacher, I believe that there are some lessons to be learned from Jay’s experiences. I would like you to take away from your time with my son, the example he gave you about loving what you do and doing your best at it. But, you should also learn from Jay’s life that poor choices can have tragic consequences. I am certain that he never thought that the choices he made as a teenager or young adult would lead him to such a sad end.

My family and I have read the many positive comments posted on the “In Memory of Coach Jay” website as well those found on local newspaper internet sites. Your words have provided solace in our time of sorrow. They have reminded us that despite his problems he had found good friends in Alaska. And they have helped us recall the many happy memories we have of Jay. Thank you for your kindnesses.

Gratefully,
Paul R. Rivera